odd red birds & cross stitched snowflakes

I've been thinking a lot about him lately. Why, I'm not sure. It's not the anniversary of anything. He crosses my mind a lot anyhow, but the last few weeks, even more. I hung this in my hall when he was still alive. I would walk past it and shake my head, sometimes, I will admit, thinking it was the ugliest bit of latch hook rug I had ever in my life seen.

Now it is one of the most precious things I could ever own.

I'm surprised though that the cardinal ended up red and not orange, as I am quite certain there was brandy to be had when the yarn was sorted. Love you, Dad.

Also working diligently, hooking hats and now taking a break from that today as I have *gasp* run out of yarn. Yes, a trip somewhere or many-wheres is in order today!

Stitching now for the rest of today, trying to finish up Herbert Heartfelt by the end of Sunday. Blustery enough day, one I am quite sure was created to be...well, creative!

new space to create

With my son moving off to college, I found myself with an extra room. I promised him I would leave his bed alone so he had something familiar and comfortable to come to, but the rest of the space? It's now become my little haven to create, and I have reclaimed my dining room table and my bedroom!

Here are a few before shots as I moved in...

And after some sorting and organizing today...

Yay! A permanent place for my sewing machine!

Sheep guarding the Apple Notebook

Ronon Kiwi

Dex & Shep 

Who's Got The Button

Finally, I can see what books I have

Felted Alpaca from Dreamhouse Ventures

I can't wait to start creating!!

changing seasons

Tomorrow we leave to take my son to North Dakota. Tonight we are eating ice cream, watching  a few of our favorite episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, talking books and laughing over silly (and stupid) things that only we would laugh about.

Like sharing our worries with pet rocks.

All of his stuff is packed and sitting on the floor of the living room and I'm just sort of denying that this is our last night together. We're doing all the things that we have done so many other nights.

What has occurred to me however, is that I have raised an amazing young man. Confident without being cocky, caring and smart. Not just book smart, but common sense smart. He's ready to fly. And I'm -I think- ready to give him a push.

I finished up a new design tonight and will edit it as I begin stitching next week. A change of seasons in my home, one that has more to do with emotion than the cooler temperatures that signal fall.

Now off to pack. And maybe give a glance to baby books and a pudgey faced little boy who even at the age of two was falling asleep with his feet up on the sofa and a book in his hands.

my Nate's graduation, June 7th, 2012

My boy graduated from Mankato East High last night. I am so proud of him, for what he has accomplished and will accomplish.  Such a caring, funny and considerate young man he has grown to be.  My baby has taken his first steps to flying from my nest!

Nate and his proud mother!

Here's your diploma!

Nate and his Grandma Rosie

Molly, Nate & Me

Nate with his Aunt Mary and Uncle Todd, cousins Caleb and Kenna

Siblings & Friends

It was a beautiful and memorable night!

Congratulations Fred!

family visiting & a bit of *meh.*

Still struggling somewhat with this heavy 'don't-wanna-do-much-of-anything'-thing. It's frustrating because I really have things to work on. I have things I want to do. I just hate the feeling that I -have- to.  Maybe that's the problem. I just need to get out of this rut. I don't feel right if I'm not making something. So I just need to start making something for no other reason BUT to create.

I kinda sorta started doing that this morning. I played around a bit with an Inca inspired motif, and charted the design below. I think I will try out some of the new DMC Color Variations colors with this.

I'm also working on another bit of slow cloth with handkerchiefs I found at the thrift store. I like the slow cloth as I can pick it up and work for a handful of minutes and put it away again, no pressure, just creating and watching as the new fabric emerges.  I will snap a few shots over the weekend to show my progress on that piece.

My brother and his boys are here, and I've got the next few days off, so I might have to take the stitching down to my mom's, sit on the deck and stitch away the morning while chatting with family.

Weekend Wonderings

We buried my dad on Thursday, and after a most memorable time spent with my family and friends since, it is now time to move on and remember that while his story has ended, there is still room for the retelling.

I find myself filled with ideas and things that I want to do because life is just so suddenly too short to ignore the calling.  The snow is gone, my dad is playing one hell of a  poker game with those buddies of his that went before him, and it is time for me to stop procrastinating where my goals are concerned.

I will complete that quilt fabric line I have been sketching for the last month.

I will play with jewelry and buttons and baubles and create new from the old.

I will continue to bring smiles by painting with threads.

I will study hard and learn everything I can about graphic design.

I will continue to follow the path I have chosen spiritually and reconnect with the Earth and what the Mother has given me.

Distractions

Today is the second day of my father's stay in Intensive Care. He has been ill for some time and this trip to the hospital is the second serious episode in a matter of weeks. It is nothing we have not been building ourselves up for, and we have expected his decline for some time.

Yesterday, he did not recognize me or my sister.

I have found myself in dire need of distraction and have found it by occupying myself with stitching and sketching, with my schoolwork, but also with memories of my childhood. They were not always good memories. In fact the better part of those years were difficult, namely because of another illness that took even more years from Dad. Alcoholism.

It is a funny thing when you sit and think about times past. You think about those times that you would rather forget, but lurking just underneath are good memories too. I have worked very hard in the last couple of years to allow those memories the space they deserve in my mind.

I would one day like to find myself with enough peace to reach into the darker memories, too, and finish my path to healing where they are concerned. I like to think I have forgiven, but sometimes I am not certain I have. I most certainly have not forgotten.

Thanksgiving Day

Somewhere along the line I inherited the Thanksgiving holiday.

I've got everything cooking that I can have cooking right now, and was able to sneak into the studio for a bit of time with string and beads and secret Christmas gift making while the rest of the family is yet to arrive.

The first scents of roasting duck and turkey are beginning to fill the house, and usually it would compliment the smell of earlier pie baking, but we took a shortcut this year and purchased our pies ready made.

Hazelnut coffee with a splash of cream in hand I head to a big chair to curl into for some stitching. I have renewed my vow to myself to have at least three new designs out a month, and am pleased with my progress so far. The 'busywork' side of the business leaves me without the energy sometimes to stitch, but I am coming at it from a different angle now, looking at my creating as just that. Creating. I should be taking as much pleasure in stitching the models for the new designs as I do in drawing them in the first place, and I find myself returning to that place where I can hole up for hours and just lose myself in a piece.

It isn't work.

And that feels good.